Saturday, November 3, 2007
okay...this is bout this love of mine...hahah....love as in a one side-ed love and a very much bleak one....
i sometimes catch her looking at me...well..maybe it's me hallucinating...or maybe i just think too much....or tat i am just a very big bhb....anw....if...if really she keep looking at me from time to time...i really hope tat she is llooking at me...i mean me...not at my cap...not at my nose hair or at de fly flying round my head..hahah....
pretty funny cos i was also always caught lookinh at her...hahah...but really...she mesmerises me...so much tat i will stare without realising...hahah
i am still un sure bout wad she thinks bout me...i wanna to let her noe...i like her tat much...but....i just dun dare to tell her....many ppl ask me to just go ask...but really...i cant find tat courage...so i am actually looking out for all de possible clues tat may appear...sherlock homes!!
but all those clues often make me feel so wrecked...sigh~~~
she clicks so well with one guys...
i see her play with another...
then she will tell another everything....
i dunno if tats true lah...but its wad i see...lol....and it really sux to be seeing tat...cos like abit sinaz diao...always...if onli she does one of those towards me...i will be so happy...
time to time...she will ask me to take this and tat for her...and i am happy...but i feel dumb....i am so fraking happy over something so tiny...like...why....but i just cant control how i feel...like how i cant control me being so freaking jealous over some dumb things...i keep reminding myself...nah...its nothing but all de wat if ????pops up my mind...like suck...
often...i wanted to msg her...like to ask if she's home...or like today...i asked if she needs my shoulder....but often....i would have a answer in my mind...not a yes no kinda answer...but more of a image of how she would reply...a one word reply tat totally cuts me off...and yea...it always...like really...always hit..."ya ... lolz" , "2...lolz" , "okie okie...lolz"....
i can see how she shine when shee seees ppl...but...naybe i am think bloody too much...but its wad i think lah...she dosent show tat shine when she sees me...again...i often thin too much..haha....anw...just some random tots....
really...i am becoming quite a loner....omg....
reverting back.....i like her...i love her...sosossososo much...but...sigh....why sia...whyyyy~~~~~
should i really let her noe how i feel...i am putting up a tag box soon...pls advise me...hahah....thanks all...
going to go bath....see ya!
