BLOG &!
Monday, November 12, 2007
class A2.....
it's heaven and earth's difference for both my classes...my class now...it roxs!!!!the people there is bloody cool...haha!!!
i realised that i dont really have any issue to really blog about...so lets just be a little lame ya..haha..
thats a distorted version of me...we...i was bored then...HAHA!!
8:31 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Saturday, November 10, 2007
growing hair....
hahaha....i have been drunk for 3 cosecutive days...tat explains de disappearence...lol...
anyway...i am back!!!!
firstly....i wanna apologise....to her yah
love blinded me i say...and i am deeply apologetic for that...i talk so much bout how much i like her...love her and all...but really...from my actions...i look more like a physcotic old man....really...and deeply i am really regretful for wad i have done.....
sorry to you noe who...i have been selfishly thinking bout myself and all....but i never actually spare a tot for ya ehh...so sorry....hahah...hope we wont be as awkard as it is gonna be..it sux...big TIME!!
and...i know wads going on and all...hahah...u and him are sure naughty ya..?
and tat HIM....thx and no thx man...
thx for de silent talk in de train..tat was wad i really needed....and no thx from keeping so much frm me....u pu boh...
regarding this issue..i have a thing to say.. its bout something i have learnt. something i have really expreience yah..to love isnt really bout show off how great you are. how pathetic you are and how good u are. nor isit about blabbering so much on one's blog on wad u have done and all...listen carefully...IT's NOT....it about letting her/him be happy...its about being sensitive to her needs...and not bout deciding on wad she needs...and lastly..remind ur self tat..u like her..not u want her..tats wad love is about..
well.. tats mine theory for now...
and on this issue again....i really hope tat whatever works out...friends will still always be frens...no nothing or whatever shit...no...
lastly...really soososososso sorry for my behaviour tat past few days...i promise a better me ya...and thanks for all tat have shown concern...thanks all...
thanks ya....nites...
11:47 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Thursday, November 8, 2007
light headed.......
hahah...2 consecutive nights out...wooohooo!!long since tat happpened...
feeling really refresh now...hahah....everythings totally cleared....
a real big thx to all my frens...hhaahah....they brought me the truth and also the light on wat tat i am doing......i am truely grateful....THX!!!!
i really feel so blessed now....like just 48hrs ago....i feel dammed...now...i am de most happy person on earth!!!hahah....i have one of the greatest gift anyone can get...frens...
i found de love i was lacking...welll. not founded but reunited with it...de love frm all my frens...new ones...de old ones and de fucktard one...its still so cool...hahah.
frens are really the greatest...really...so...ppl reading this. think about all the time u rreally spent with ur frens. and think about wat u all have done and also on how u feel during those times...hahah...it's rather positive uhh???
again on frens...like all things..there is a dark side n bright side to it...hahah...
ther are frens tat is so great...but also frens in which i raather not have...so...think carefully.....who are they....frens are your greates kind of drug...the good ones can cure u...help u and even make u freaking happy....the bad ones..they are the reflection of drugs...as in heroine and all...they will make u feel good...really...happy and all...but slowly..they are tearing u up from within...like the slow process of borrowing money...till it becomes a hugr sum...and when u need them...they disspears....like drugs..de frens influences u...till tat even the best of goood drugs becomes the worst...till u cant seperate good frm bad and bad from worst...till u really become the worst of the kind...and believe me..i have seen bad drugs causing death...and so did bad frens....
ppl...now think...think hard...who's good and who's arent...and belive me...there are always the black sheep...look closely...b4 it's too late ya!
and for all who has found all their greatest fren in life....celebrate for we are the luckiest people on earth..rejoice for we have been taking in all the greatest drug in the world..hahah
tats me...cheers...
10:16 PM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
so true as it seemed....
i just came across this verse..."the only thing that wont change in a human...is changing"
on light on my hair changing and me..mentally changing...let me bring across...all human changes!!
my sis and i...we hate our mum tat much!!sometimes....well..lets not drag my sis down...but time to time....she irritates us...i mean me...
well...my sis have 2 sons now...cute and all..but while having her 1st son...and when my mum and her was alone in de hospital room....she told my mum this...a person has to pay to grow up.
i agree alot....and by putting both versers together...u will realised...a person has to pay no matter wad...cos they will change no matter wad..and really..in my 17 yrs of living...i exprience tat many a times...either on myself or i see it in other ppl..
change isnt always good...normally the changes u notice are bad...
like u grow taller each day...and u mum love u more each day...but u wont notice it..untill one day ur leg cant be inside your bed..then u notice...
but bad changes like...ur mum hates u more..u grow fatter..and maybe even u drop 10 cents...u will notic it straight away...sometimes u can even feel it...haah....tats how changes occur....in everyday life...
all the four point above...mix it together, and pour it into a human shaped container...your human is 1/2 done..hahah...we human changes every day...good or bad...we change...but the changes occuring in a human is more special...weather good bad...it will still take some time..and it is still reversable....depending on ur degree of bad...de time applies too...
so..if u realised tat u are changing for de worst..hurry!!turn back...haha....cos as i say...bad changes are noticable....
well...as all people changes...some people will accept it..some won't...
tats when u loose a fren...a "stead"...a very good brother....
tats life...u will just learn to accept it...but truely...ask urself now...haha....how much have u change...since...hmmm...pri sch...and was it a good change...
hahah...weird...i sound so philosophical....die~~
see ya guys...hahah!!
6:34 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
new me......
haha....i just shaved...not anywhere but it my head....more importantly...it's de left side of my head...hahah...de so called mark of a new me....
de post this afternoon...i was so emotional....even till after i woke up....
i went to bath. looked at myself. and maybe cried a little. cos it was damn steamy in my bath room...anyway...i looked at my new decending layer...and i tot...wad about a decending front...and so i started....i wanted it to be a mark of me...finally wanting to let go...hahah...and so all de shaving and cutting started...and wooo...cool!!
i arent used to it first...but when i spiked it and all..woohoo
COOL~~~~
it used to be my wish to have such heads. and i finally have them...well...not as i planned for it to happen...but yea...
this shall mark the date i try to let go...not being sure i can...or not..but i shall try...hahah...
feeling alot fresher now...and yea...tml's a new date to start forgetting...
deep down..i know i cant lah...even as "lighted headed" as i am now...i am still so heavily thinking bout her...but really...let me try...and i promise...in de course of trying..and i failed....i will surely go and ask her..
DO YOU LIKE mE!!!!!!??
tats is..if i fail trying...or if suddenly sparks really me...hahaha
i sound dumb..but yea..tats wad i am gonna do!!
someone told me...i should be like myself....be cheerful and so happy...and finally i shall do it..hahah
i try to get a photo and upload...my new hair...see ya guys..hahah....woo!
6:12 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
music makes de mood....
how true it seems...
i carry my ipod around most of the time. and time to time i would listen to it. at these times,i would have plenty of things happen around me...and depending on de song...my actions to de speed of my walking and my facial expression will change...
do you realise that while listen to a fast paced funk music...u will walk alot faster...carrying a smile...while listen to..lets say "make it work-by nee yo"...a slow RnB...u will walk fast too...but ur face will be in a kinda stern while cool expression....
similarly...while listen to funk...and someone calls u...u will react with a smile. no matter who called u. on the other hand. u will turn around with a blur face while listening to a sad song...
i often am a smart alex...when i am so sad...i listen to songs that are sad...making me even "sadder". whereas...while being happy...i will listen to a happy song...well~~lets say i ran out of energy in 10 mins time...
do u guys have this habit of pressing next all the time. or this habit of listening to the same song...again n again....sadly...i have both habits....now i am addicted to make it work...whereas the rest of the songs...i just keep pressing next....i have to put new songs inside already ehh??
time and time again...i feel sad and emotional...most because of her...haha...dunno y...but ya...
onli one thing can bring me outta tat emotional state...it's funk....
sadly...this time...funk cant...i am sad over something i cant control...something i never wanted to know about...but was revealed to me...and over something tat was kept from me...but accidentally showed to me...
i dedicated this post to my ipod ya...thanks for always being there for me...althought u arent tat powerful...but u have helped me time and time again..thanks..
napping time...hope every things turn for the better ya...see ya.
1:37 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Sunday, November 4, 2007
its raining now...and i just closed my i-tunes...i am typing in darkness....
i am feeling so empty now....i tried to start a conversation with her just now...and de replies all came in a..."ya" , "lol" kinda way.....the way in which makes it so diff to continue a convo....i wonder if she does tat to others....or isit me onli..."her way of say buzz off eh??"
it took me so much courage to click on her name...and to say a simple hello...i got a "yo" back...then i went on a little...then she says she's slping soon...she dont wwanna talk to me eh??...i often use de same excuse too....karma....
i tried telling her tat it is very diif for me...really...but i dint dare....i lost all courage eh....
i ask weather she's seen my blog...she haven...but i guess she will be coming in soon...she will see al these....and she will think tat i am a big hypocrite....ask her to come in and see wad i dint dare to tell her face to face...hahah...wad a thing i need now...to fill this emptyness ehh??
wonderful wonderful wonderful....
the weather reflects on me now....and i think de rain's dripping tru....i can feel it on my cheeks..hahha....
gotta try and break tru ya...like i always did....so yea...schs tml...try to go to slp now...should's waste de rain..
7:55 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
after a long longed for bowl of kway...something something.....lol...i went into my room and rot....my mum came and knock....and asked....wat am i doing??
i realised tat de used to be noisy living room has gotten so quite....last time...many quarrels , celebration and also de used to be sunday family venue has became so lonely....like i onli wake up when my familys is at wrk...and i will onli reach home when they are in dream land...hahah....i miss those days...where we will just sit down tgt and watch de channel 8 9 o'clock show....
i brought food for my mum today...and i suddenly realised tat she has gotten so much older...hahah...maybe her moisturiser ran out...i dunno??lol...i just realised tat i needa wrk harder...hahah....de 4th week of sch starts in like 10 hr time....gotta remind myself not to skipp anymore uhh??hahahh....
back to topic...family day...hmmm....we use to got out every weekend....sat we will go to de beaulin house at smb park...nice place...my dad my mum and me...its good as its a day out for us...sunday...i we will meet up with my sis n family..and we will often go out and have dinner...cool uh...i miss my nephews....i dun have their pics...but i shall try to up load it soon...lol....
missed those days....haha..but again....i rather go out with frens uhh...lol...i guess tat is wad most ppl go tru at this age...i am looking forward to cny...haha....finally i can see my family again....cheers...!!
6:12 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Saturday, November 3, 2007
a cheesy chilli pepper meltz...a cheese fries and a medium coke...a 3 bucks char shew rice...a bowl of 3 min self cooked maggie mee...and 5 packets of mamee monster.....
i am still hungry........
i am growing boy they say...i am 17 this yr and i have already reached all tat there is of a matured boy...hairs and voice and all...but is still eat so much...??
my mums answer...i have worms in my tummy...like....errr...the foods going in is being eaten by those so called worms....and tats y i eat so much...and i am always hungry....hahah...it's pretty un healthy...and also....my mum will bring out this whole case of medication for me to eat...de so called nutrtionist prescribe medication....
science says tat...i have super high metabolism rate...tats y all my food grt digested so fast...and turns into energy...tats y i am always jumping and running...hahahah...cool uhh??
i weight 64 kg and in am 183 tall....and i eat like a pig...but i am still so skinny!!!!hahahah....so sad uh...but yea....its wad all a women wan???isnt it...a body tat wont grow fat even if it takes in alot of food...lol
11:33 PM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
okay...this is bout this love of mine...hahah....love as in a one side-ed love and a very much bleak one....
i sometimes catch her looking at me...well..maybe it's me hallucinating...or maybe i just think too much....or tat i am just a very big bhb....anw....if...if really she keep looking at me from time to time...i really hope tat she is llooking at me...i mean me...not at my cap...not at my nose hair or at de fly flying round my head..hahah....
pretty funny cos i was also always caught lookinh at her...hahah...but really...she mesmerises me...so much tat i will stare without realising...hahah
i am still un sure bout wad she thinks bout me...i wanna to let her noe...i like her tat much...but....i just dun dare to tell her....many ppl ask me to just go ask...but really...i cant find tat courage...so i am actually looking out for all de possible clues tat may appear...sherlock homes!!
but all those clues often make me feel so wrecked...sigh~~~
she clicks so well with one guys...
i see her play with another...
then she will tell another everything....
i dunno if tats true lah...but its wad i see...lol....and it really sux to be seeing tat...cos like abit sinaz diao...always...if onli she does one of those towards me...i will be so happy...
time to time...she will ask me to take this and tat for her...and i am happy...but i feel dumb....i am so fraking happy over something so tiny...like...why....but i just cant control how i feel...like how i cant control me being so freaking jealous over some dumb things...i keep reminding myself...nah...its nothing but all de wat if ????pops up my mind...like suck...
often...i wanted to msg her...like to ask if she's home...or like today...i asked if she needs my shoulder....but often....i would have a answer in my mind...not a yes no kinda answer...but more of a image of how she would reply...a one word reply tat totally cuts me off...and yea...it always...like really...always hit..."ya ... lolz" , "2...lolz" , "okie okie...lolz"....
i can see how she shine when shee seees ppl...but...naybe i am think bloody too much...but its wad i think lah...she dosent show tat shine when she sees me...again...i often thin too much..haha....anw...just some random tots....
really...i am becoming quite a loner....omg....
reverting back.....i like her...i love her...sosossososo much...but...sigh....why sia...whyyyy~~~~~
should i really let her noe how i feel...i am putting up a tag box soon...pls advise me...hahah....thanks all...
going to go bath....see ya!
12:12 PM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
well...just reached home and i have this expired tot in my mind...i really really wanna post....last year...i went to this pub called underground with all my brothers....it was way before de o's started n it was de first time i really did something illegal....well...wads a singaporean without breaking some laws..anyway...de main attraction at tat time was my singing...i sang "sarang hae yo" by jj....it was cool~~~
welll...it arent...i was 1/2 drunk lah...haha...and my singing sux....i dunno de lyrics...de tone...de timing....welll...i was stupid then...hahah....
de aftermath sux.....like really....my brothers...de brothers frm my sch spreaded wad happened to me to de whole school...like wtf....everyone walking pass me was like...sarang hae yo..sarang hae yo...even my teachers did tat...i became de sarang..... guy.....lol...belive me..it sux to be in tat shoes....
it continues even till now....
today.....i have been tru many kara sessions and pubbing sessions...well...i arent really improving but...its better then my sarang hae yo ya....hahah...
singing rox...but really...its obvious tat some ppl can...some cant...and i cant..
11:54 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Friday, November 2, 2007
ytd i was at gays hse...lol....playing dota...memories memories.....hahaha...anyway....his house is situated just beside smb sec.....and at de basketball court..more memories~~~~
..........................................................................................................................sorry..ahah...was drowning in de memo.....lol....anw...i had this sudden wave of memories rushing tru my head....like suddenly i see sooo many places tat i used to spent time in...and also de place where i met de gal i like...hhahah...shall not say who ehh...but i really really enjoyed my final yr in sch mainly because of basketball....frens...and her~~~
hahah...de mysterious gal tat could really capture my heart...lol....
she had a stead...as they call it...de sec sch gf bf...lol....anw....she's attached...and for a very long time...to a same guy...her stead...lol....i like her at first....then it bLOOMED into love...lol....anw...so summary on wad happened ya...lol....she's one yr younger then me...lol...shes damn hot..seriously...like whew....and shes bloody cute...like...wow....angelical face...devlish body...lol....but i started smsing her and all 1st...at first it seemed rather weird...lol...she even felt tat i was irritating....haha...but i was lah...my so called way of concern...its de mistake alot of guys make...like u will keep smsing her and all....n keep wanting to chat with her....its bloody irritating....but really....guys we all noe how we all feel...hahah....
then then then....i think we realised we can click pretty welll...like woah...i can complete her sentence for her....she will pour her heart out to me...every single nite...like wad she faced in practice...her bf...even to her family...haha....she will tell me...she also know of my darkside....wahahaha....lol...and i would morn call her almost everymorning...and we are like...moaning on de phone...we went jogging tgt b4...and watch de sun and water...lol...but yea....u get de idea...we msged everyday....and talked on de phone everynite....and one fine nite...i finally confessed...it was my first confession....and it was pretty funny....hahah...but it was good lah...i was rejected of course...she was attatched...lol....but we continued being de best frens..shes taking her o's now....i really hope for de best ya...lol
bathing ya....see ya all soon...and thanks for reading...
MUACKS!!!
10:13 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
i realised tat i am changing...
not physically...but mentally...as in my personality....
last time....(time frame of lets sayyyyy sec1 till even poly 1st sem)i am someone who like lots of ppl company....like alot alot ppl going out tgt and all...hahah...noisy and loud...and very very mad...lol....
now....i have this tendancy of walking away alone...being alone and also i do alot more things alone..now...hahah...as long as i have my trusty ipod..tats all....hahah...being alone is good....it gives u time to think...to relax...and maybe somehow...gals will come and ask for u number ehh???hahah...cool~~~
i am a quite guy now...its completely heaven and earth frm my sec sch days...haha..for those tat noe me...u can feel de diff rite???
usually now....when i suddenly go mad...and shout n scream...not literally..but..u get de meaning ehh....?i arent being kid of watever ppl think...its because i feel tat de situation is getting abit too quite....too strange...so i like lighten up de situation...hahah....so...my fact 2...hope u enjoyed it..
10:02 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Thursday, November 1, 2007
in msn...sms...even on my blog...i use alot of dots....hahhaaah....ppl sld realised tat ya...so...let me explain...why???
when i am dotting...i use tat fraction of seconds to think...maybe each dot means...lets say...1/10 of a second...ya...so u can roughtly predict how long it took me to think ya..i am cutting down now..hahah..cos it seems abit ugly..so ya..hahahah...
just some intresting fact...bout me myself and i....
9:13 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
it's like a dream come tru in this post...i have been wanting to do this since...lets say.....wheni was in pri 4???ehhh???
hahah...now i proclaim....tan wee jian loves animals!!!!!!
frm lions to tigers...back to lions...then to elephants and even till de beetles and all...i love them all....i can watch 24hr of animal planet...and i will be glued to art central at 9 onwards....its all de documentary in de world!!!!!woooohoooooo!!!
hahaha...i remember alll de chaising of predator and preys...how de preys was alwas killed...the frm this cute little dear...into this heap of fly fluttering flesh....hahah...so cool~~~
not tat i am saddist or wad...but its just so cool....animals will gather around to protect each other....althought...they wont drop a single tear...or even help to fight...all they do is run...and run....running...and running...till one gets caught...and killed...then they run again...lol....i reminds me of de guy in war of de worlds...hahahaha....but its such a wonderful cycle...wooohoo!!!
poachers....ppl who kill animals for self profits....
like wtf!!!!if u where shot dead...cos i can sell ur skin for 500 bucks..ur one teeth for 30...50 if i make it into a neckles....and maybe ur ear is this unique chinese crusine...like wtf....really sia....wtf.....
sometimes i really wish tat de world will really come to an end...hahah....saddistic ya...but ya...i really hope so....lol....
nah...just kidding...but yea...lets all pray and hope..tat all will stop ya...hahah....AMEN!!
it feels good to be able to complete a 10 yr long want...hahah.....go to bath now...see ya!!!
hahahahahahahaah......
8:58 AM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;